(Cross-posted to LiveJournal)
Yesterday was good for nothing. I should've done laundry. Instead, I watched most of Season 2 of Dexter. I'd forgotten many of the subplots, so it all felt sort of new and interesting. I still strongly dislike Lila--which makes sense, I suppose, as we're not meant to like her. Still. What a skank-ho'.
I also messed around with my iPhone some more; and, on that topic, two more good and useful applications that also happen to be free:
Wikipanion, because it's about as close as we're going to get to an actual Hitchhiker's Guide. It's Wikipedia in a more iPhone-friendly format than you'd get browsing through Safari.
Stanza, because I don't want a Kindle, but I like the notion well enough. Hand-held electronic books (plenty of them for free if you're meaning to play catch-up with the classics), with changeable fonts and background contrast. It pulls from a variety of sources, including but not limited to: BooksOnBoard, Project Gutenberg, Feedbooks, and Fictionwise. And while I definitely prefer physical books, this makes for a good alternative if I run out of space in my bag or just forget to pack one.
And I discovered that it was much better for reading in bed when I'm cold (good grief, I was cold last night). I can burrow under the blankets and I don't need a light to see the text.
Mainly, I just keep thinking of little things that interest me and inspire me to seek out applications that correspond to them. Really, anything that deserves a button on my bookmarks toolbar has been given a search in Applications.
The one I've been avoiding downloading is Facebook, though it's in the Top 25 on the App charts. I think I probably share enough of myself as it is with LJ and Twitterrific. LiveJournal to satisfy my verbosity while maintaining a relative privacy (hello f-lock), and Twitter for the more public and more meaningless bits of life (Stephen: "twitter's right - every little thought that pops into my head is worth sharing"). Facebook still feels like giving and receiving much unwanted information. I'm okay with checking in at my desk, but I don't especially need it at my fingertips constantly.
What else? I started making icon bases for Disco Pigs. You can see them over at phantasm_bunny. Cillian Murphy's character Pig is a careful combination of adorable and creepy, which, by the end of the film, slides in favour of scary. I enjoy Cillian like that though (see: Red Eye and Batman Begins). The images, so far, come from The Cillian Site, but I think I might do some of my own screen-caps for my next part in the icon base series to see if I can't up the image quality a tick or two.
Other fun things to do: beating up lawn gnomes and flamingos (or being beaten up by lawn gnomes and flamingos) in the ZOMG! game on Gaia. The wasps found on Rancho de Bill frighten me, though. They're no more difficult to fight than the gnomes or the flamingos, but--they're giant frackin' wasps! BLEAH. Oh, well. My virtual purple sari and Colbert also make me happy.
... Is it wrong that I'd like to wear an actual sari? It feels somehow socially and ethnically incorrect--but they look so nice and vibrant!
Showing posts with label self-induced exile. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-induced exile. Show all posts
21 April 2009
yesterday's fake-holiday activities
02 April 2009
inaccessible
(Cross-posted to LiveJournal)
Huh. I've left my phone somewhere; and, aside from not being sure where that somewhere is (I hope it's at home), I'm feeling mostly all right about it.
I didn't really notice until I thought, That's weird. Usually I've received about two dozen twitter txt messages by now [split fairly even between Neil Gaiman and Russell Brand on most days]. And then I discovered my mobile wasn't in its traditional place.
Oh, well. I'll just have fifty txts to erase when I get home (or, you know, not at all if I've lost it somewhere between here and there).
Just another excuse to put off getting a [likely expensive] haircut, really. Can't call the salon without my phone, and office phones are not to be used for personal non-emergency reasons like haircuts.
I'm very good at procrastination and justification.
10 January 2009
spoiling the illusion
(Cross-posted to LiveJournal)
I've more than once contemplated rejoining a religious group, if only for the social outlet.
It is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day...
Even now, there's an odd look one receives ... I get it at work sometimes, not from everyone, but from a handful of people. Disbelief? Concern? I'm not sure how to describe it properly. It's the look I get when I decline an invitation to a church gathering, and then let them know why I declined when they ask.
Ambivalence ... nonchalance?
It does seem to be a reaction divided by race. None of my Asian colleagues think it strange (or if they do, they have the good taste not to react); most of my Caucasian colleagues are equally disinterested; it's primarily my Black colleagues that are most visibly taken aback.
So I wonder, as I read the common zealot rant on a message board, as I cross paths with colleagues and the occasional LDS pavement-pounder, Would I be more socially acceptable if I were part of a religious group?
But then I reconsider, knowing exactly how much I'd hate myself--how much I would come to loath the pretense, how much I would resent the people around me (whether they actually believed or were just similarly pretending for the sake of human company). Could I pretend? Oh, I'm certain I could--and quite convincingly, at that. Things move me for many reasons.
The right (or wrong) combination of musical chords can send a shiver down my spine, fictions make me cry or shudder every other day. To achieve the same reaction in any so-called holy place to so-called holy music or so-called holy words would hardly be proof of anything.
Reactions to stimuli.
[Sanity], [sanity], all is [sanity].
It's not to say that I don't think I can believe in things; but many things that were once categorised as beliefs have been moved to fantasy and fiction and intellectual interest. Fairly weighed, nothing "supernatural" makes any more sense than anything else. I guess that's where my mind stops.
It's not to say that I don't think others should believe in things. More [of something--though I'm not sure what, but "power" seems incorrect--] to them, if they can.
But I resent them and I pity them, and I can't make myself feel guilty about those feelings, because I'm almost certain that they feel the same way about me.
Back to the question: Could I fake it? Yes, for a while, but I'd probably self-destruct eventually; and, as is my habit, I'd most likely take a few people with me. People who, in their turn, would resent me for spoiling their illusion.
A more wicked side of me thinks, It could make life interesting for a little while ... Allow the most outlandish thing possible to recruit oneself (something like Opus Dei or equally miserable). Bewilder both friends and family for a good six months. Convince the believers of conversion. And then--leave, to the confusion and disappointment of all.
It's more for self-indulgent fantasy than reality, isn't it?
I'm lonely and bored of being lonely, but I'm also proud--too proud to whore myself to something I don't believe, too proud to keep my opinions to myself.
Maybe tomorrow I'll write out a few of my thoughts on the dichotomy of good and evil in Western literature.
Maybe I'll go see The Unborn instead.
Who knows?
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